The woman in your life may give you her heart, soul and, of course, her body, but still there’s a part of her being that she’ll never share with you ... stuff that makes her a mystery .
Yes, your woman is a den of mysteries hinted to you in her sly smile, enigmatic laughter or that sudden silence. She just pretends to be one, but is never an open book to you. Her deepest secrets are what add to her charm ... but render you an outsider in her own ‘Secret Garden’. Secrets of her unshared yearnings, cherished fantasies or for that matter, a secret lover from the past ...
Here’s a peep into those hidden secrets ... dig into them at your own risk!
- I might just hate it when you sleep in that office shirt, but when you are away, I love to snuggle up in your shirt because it smells of you.
- Though I insist on paying the bill or sharing it in our initial dates, I’ll find you cheap and so non-chivalrous in case you don’t insist on making the payment.
- Long before we explored each other’s bodies, I had been fantasizing about being with you. That inhibition was only to get assured that you are all mine.
- I do think about my ex-es and compare them to you. Mostly you win, but you are not all perfect.
- ‘I don’t care you call or not’ is pure pretence. In fact, I start waiting for your next call the moment one ends. Not just this, I eagerly want you to plan our next date even before the current one ends. I might not show it. So, don’t fret about looking desperate just call! The gap looks like a lifetime to me.
- During the initial days of our relationship, I used to save all our chat histories and your SMSes and read them again and again. Sometimes, made my friends read them, too.
- The day you shared your password with me, digging into your chat records and mails was the first thing I did.
- I would love to know what turns you on. Though, I know it’s going to be hilarious as I’ve seen your frequently-visited porn sites.
- You don’t have to be a ‘good boy’ with me all the time. I don’t mind talking a little dirty.
- You are my soul mate, but my ‘best friend’ is my confidante. From the size of your pay cheque, bank account to the size of your other assets...she knows it all. So, till you are telling her how much you love me all’s fine. Remember she’s my best friend and never yours.
- You rightly blame me for bombarding you with so many questions. But, that’s my way of testing you. I judge and analyse you on every word, expression, action, e-mail or SMS you write to me or someone else. So, when I ask “Do you fantasize about other women?,” the answer has to be “Why would I when I am with you?” So, better watch out!
- I love to make you a little jealous as it makes me feel wanted. So the next time you spot me flirting with your friend, know that I’m actually flirting with you through her.
- Every time I fight with you is because I feel ignored. Don’t get into your cocoon when I’m bad. Just give me what I’m fighting for – a little attention and I’ll be all yours.
- I love to get constant reminders of the much known fact that – you need me. So, what’s the harm in dropping liners saying ‘You complete me’ or ‘Don’t ever leave me alone’ ... ?
- Last but not the least, irrespective of how independent and self-driven I am, how ever much I may say that I don’t need a man to be happy, but still I want you to take charge when we are in bed.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Is there something that bugs you to no end as a woman?
A lot of us girls especially, in India are taught from day 1 to be protective of our bodies. We are made to feel guilty & dirty for entertaining thoughts of good-looking men. Sex is something we may never hear from our parents. Virginity always gets the highest bidder. Its almost like, this is the reason of our existence. It causes us problems, brings on us rules that are definitely ridiculous and make our whole existence worthless.
I wonder what is it about virgins that get men all excited? It would be foolish to want an inexperienced girl in bed, wouldn’t it?? Why do people condemn something that is so natural across living beings. Animals do it, birds do it. I have been reading some classified sections in the newspapers where people want “pure” girls. What I want to know is, how are they gonna verify this girl’s “pureness”? Anyway, how pure is their son?
It may sound odd and weird to me because I was not brought up in a conservative household. I had my freedom (rather still have), I wore make up, I go to parties etc. I am pretty sure my parents knew about my encounters with men in life. But the reason I have this freedom is because my mother had to tolerate crap like this when she was younger. Apparently, when my father went to “see” my mother, my grandmother (father’s mom) yanked on her braided hair hard, to check if it was real. I am pretty sure, her being a virgin was of great importance to them.
Can we change this opinion people have on women? Optimistically thinking, I believe we can. Realistically, NO. There are too many people to convince and a whole lot of them are narrow-minded. We also live in a country that is superstitious. So, god forbid, they think otherwise and another tsunami hit them. We are perennially worried about what society thinks of us, what our great-grand mothers would think of us, what our maid thinks of us etc.
So, we do the next best thing. We rebel. We do everything we are told not to do. We do what our hearts desire. And along the way, if we find a man, who sees through this deception we put ourselves through, we get lucky. Else, we fall in love and change back to what we never wanted to be.
I am ranting in this post. I wanted to write something about women empowerment, but all that came up in this post was anger at the way women were treated across our country, in our backyards.
I wonder what is it about virgins that get men all excited? It would be foolish to want an inexperienced girl in bed, wouldn’t it?? Why do people condemn something that is so natural across living beings. Animals do it, birds do it. I have been reading some classified sections in the newspapers where people want “pure” girls. What I want to know is, how are they gonna verify this girl’s “pureness”? Anyway, how pure is their son?
It may sound odd and weird to me because I was not brought up in a conservative household. I had my freedom (rather still have), I wore make up, I go to parties etc. I am pretty sure my parents knew about my encounters with men in life. But the reason I have this freedom is because my mother had to tolerate crap like this when she was younger. Apparently, when my father went to “see” my mother, my grandmother (father’s mom) yanked on her braided hair hard, to check if it was real. I am pretty sure, her being a virgin was of great importance to them.
Can we change this opinion people have on women? Optimistically thinking, I believe we can. Realistically, NO. There are too many people to convince and a whole lot of them are narrow-minded. We also live in a country that is superstitious. So, god forbid, they think otherwise and another tsunami hit them. We are perennially worried about what society thinks of us, what our great-grand mothers would think of us, what our maid thinks of us etc.
So, we do the next best thing. We rebel. We do everything we are told not to do. We do what our hearts desire. And along the way, if we find a man, who sees through this deception we put ourselves through, we get lucky. Else, we fall in love and change back to what we never wanted to be.
I am ranting in this post. I wanted to write something about women empowerment, but all that came up in this post was anger at the way women were treated across our country, in our backyards.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Perpetual Search....
Over the last couple of years I’ve been on this search. I often don’t know what it is I’m looking for. Sometimes it’s figuring what I’m doing, sometimes an escape route and sometimes a sense of liberation.
It’s a feeling like there’s something incomplete in my life. Something constantly tugging at my mind to come looking for it. It’s like there is something hidden deep within the layers of my mind or my existence but I’m unable to dig it out of there.
I try to comfort myself. I think…. it’s just that time when you are trying to find yourself. You try out new things, most often than not they don’t work and you try again until you find it. I don’t know if I have yet. I don’t think so.
It maybe social conditioning as well. In our highly consumer driven societies, we’re conditioned to always want more than we have. Maybe the same thing has morphed into this search for me.
Or maybe its some unfinished business from my past life.
The funny thing is that I sometimes wish that I could just have some sort of vision or something that will let me know what it is that I’m looking for. It’s like a big surprise that I know is coming but I just cant wait for it and want to know what it is now. Is my whole life going to be like this? It’s a scary thought because off late I rarely find myself being happy.
Or who knows, maybe I’m just wired this way.
And I wonder what will happen when I actually find that thing I’m searching for. Then what? Will I still be unhappy?
They say the grass is greener on the other side. To that someone once said in a movie, “I stay on both sides. That way the grass is always green”
I think it all boils down to the eternal search of happiness...long lost happiness..
It’s a feeling like there’s something incomplete in my life. Something constantly tugging at my mind to come looking for it. It’s like there is something hidden deep within the layers of my mind or my existence but I’m unable to dig it out of there.
I try to comfort myself. I think…. it’s just that time when you are trying to find yourself. You try out new things, most often than not they don’t work and you try again until you find it. I don’t know if I have yet. I don’t think so.
It maybe social conditioning as well. In our highly consumer driven societies, we’re conditioned to always want more than we have. Maybe the same thing has morphed into this search for me.
Or maybe its some unfinished business from my past life.
The funny thing is that I sometimes wish that I could just have some sort of vision or something that will let me know what it is that I’m looking for. It’s like a big surprise that I know is coming but I just cant wait for it and want to know what it is now. Is my whole life going to be like this? It’s a scary thought because off late I rarely find myself being happy.
Or who knows, maybe I’m just wired this way.
And I wonder what will happen when I actually find that thing I’m searching for. Then what? Will I still be unhappy?
They say the grass is greener on the other side. To that someone once said in a movie, “I stay on both sides. That way the grass is always green”
I think it all boils down to the eternal search of happiness...long lost happiness..
AAMchi Mumbai or Shiv Sena land – how do we define the city?
Hate is the most predominant word in the city of Mumbai as of now. why? ALL thanks to the shiv sena and MNS. Isn't it suppose to be home to a set of diverse crowd. Have we stopped believing in the idea of unity in diversity? Shiv Sena has held Mumbai as a hostage since last few days..the new age of autocracy..or should i say hooliganism or vandalism.
The best strategy to be in the limelight is by creating chaos in some way or the other and shiv sainiks are experts at it - whether it is about protesting outside SRK's Bunglow or for that matter bashing up North Indians every second day for some odd reason..they are adept at it. The political appraoch of Shiv Sena and MNS is strongly centred around the concept of Bhumiputr (sons of soil). Its ideology is that Maharashtra belongs to the Marathi community and that they be given preference over migrants from other Indian states. No wonder they were born out of a feeling of resentment about the relative marginilization of the native Marathi people in their own state by people whom they perceived as outsiders.
I often wonder whether they understand the Indian constitution in the first place or not?? Looks like Dr. B.R Ambedkar wasted a lot of time designing the constitution of India, when eventually at the end of the day people don't even understand it and end up defragmenting it according to their own understanding. As far as i know the citizens have the right to freedom of speech and expression and no one can stop people from making any kind of atatement until and unless it is some kind of vilification to somebody.. as far as my understanding permits, I don't think shahrukh said anything wrong or disrespectful. He is simply being targeted for being a Muslim which is a shameful act in today's sovereign and secular nation.
The worst is the fact that today SRK simply apologises for the entire fiasco. Was it a planned publicity stunt, both for SRK as well as the Shiv Sena? A win-win situation for both at the behest of the public... Or is it mere taking public sentiments for granted...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
A Modern Force - Indian Army
This was due...i wanted to write about this right after the republic day parade..the country made me proud that day..and my respect for the forces has increased manifold.
Ever since the country's independence, while the nation has mostly been at peace, the Indian army has been at war..The army has fought wars against inimical neighbours in 1947, 1962, 1965, 1971 and 1999 and has helped the civil administration to stem militancy and insurgency in J&K and the North East.
Undoubtedly, military strength is a prerequisite for peace and stability. No nation can be complacent about and to take unmanageable risks with security. In order to successfully defeat future threats and challenges, the army must modernise its weapons and equipment and upgrade its combat potential by an order of magnitude.
The shape and size of the Indian army's force a few decades later merits detailed deliberation and quick decisions as capabilities take several decades to create, test and experiment with till they finally mature. As they say, there are no prizes for runners up in a war.
The army needs to enhance its capabalities for carrying offensive operations into the territories of India's military adversaries so as to deter them from waging war. Fire power assets - artillery, missiles, rocket launchers, unmanned combat air vehicles, attack helicopters, ground strike aircraft - must be increased substantially.
Re-structuring and modernising the Indian army will require political courage, military astuteness, a non parochial approach and a singularity of purpose. Only a future ready army can march into the coming decades with confidence.
The Indian Army of the future must be light, lethal and wired; ready to fight and win India's future wars jointly with the Navy and Airforce.
Ever since the country's independence, while the nation has mostly been at peace, the Indian army has been at war..The army has fought wars against inimical neighbours in 1947, 1962, 1965, 1971 and 1999 and has helped the civil administration to stem militancy and insurgency in J&K and the North East.
Undoubtedly, military strength is a prerequisite for peace and stability. No nation can be complacent about and to take unmanageable risks with security. In order to successfully defeat future threats and challenges, the army must modernise its weapons and equipment and upgrade its combat potential by an order of magnitude.
The shape and size of the Indian army's force a few decades later merits detailed deliberation and quick decisions as capabilities take several decades to create, test and experiment with till they finally mature. As they say, there are no prizes for runners up in a war.
The army needs to enhance its capabalities for carrying offensive operations into the territories of India's military adversaries so as to deter them from waging war. Fire power assets - artillery, missiles, rocket launchers, unmanned combat air vehicles, attack helicopters, ground strike aircraft - must be increased substantially.
Re-structuring and modernising the Indian army will require political courage, military astuteness, a non parochial approach and a singularity of purpose. Only a future ready army can march into the coming decades with confidence.
The Indian Army of the future must be light, lethal and wired; ready to fight and win India's future wars jointly with the Navy and Airforce.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Secret....
Everyone around me uses the term "LIFE SUCKS!" Till some point of time, I used to do the same. Nothing was going right, and my answer to everything was, "Life sucks!"..Y does this happen to me only?
At some point of my life, I got this epiphany. And I realised this: The more I believe life sucks, the more it will suck. If I change my point of view, if I believe that everything happens for a reason, I know that everything will turn out right. There is one reason for my epiphany: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Life's eventually what you make it..
So I learned a lot and changed my point of view. And with this blog post, I want to just share a few life lessons I have learned personally:-
1. If you ever feel like doing something, just do it. You wanna dance in the middle of the road? Do it. You want to wear a certain type of clothing? Do it. You wanna sing, even if it is out of key? Do it. Never be afraid of the world laughing at you, because no matter what you do, there will always be someone who will mock you. You only get this life once -- live it the way you want to!
2. You are beautiful. Short, tall, fat, skinny -- you are beautiful. Beauty is a subjective term, isn't it? The standards of beauty that society claims for people is so warped, that it would probably take a lifetime supply of Fair and Lovely to get you to look like those models in the advertisements. It is a cliche line, but true at the same time: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Think about it - would you rather be someone you are not to try and appease to the shallow standards of society, or be happy and content in your own skin? The more you try to impress someone, the more miserable you will be.
3. Don't blame God for your failures. If you're an atheist, this point is invalid, but if you do believe in God, stop blaming Her/him for your failures. You're in this world for a reason. Every action you do has a purpose behind it. You may not realise it now, but God has a plan for you. God listens to everyone. Just remember the mantra - never give up.
4. Listen to your mom. She is ALWAYS right. Your mom has seen life way more than you have, and there is no other person who can give you better advice than she can. Take her advice, and it may just work for you!
5. Believe in a better life. If you think your life is bad, then that's what you will see around you -- a bad life. But if you change your view, think positive thoughts, you will start to notice positive things around you. When I say there is power in positive thinking, trust me, it works. Try with the small things, and then work your way to the bigger. Remember - if you think positively, only positive things will happen..
At some point of my life, I got this epiphany. And I realised this: The more I believe life sucks, the more it will suck. If I change my point of view, if I believe that everything happens for a reason, I know that everything will turn out right. There is one reason for my epiphany: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Life's eventually what you make it..
So I learned a lot and changed my point of view. And with this blog post, I want to just share a few life lessons I have learned personally:-
1. If you ever feel like doing something, just do it. You wanna dance in the middle of the road? Do it. You want to wear a certain type of clothing? Do it. You wanna sing, even if it is out of key? Do it. Never be afraid of the world laughing at you, because no matter what you do, there will always be someone who will mock you. You only get this life once -- live it the way you want to!
2. You are beautiful. Short, tall, fat, skinny -- you are beautiful. Beauty is a subjective term, isn't it? The standards of beauty that society claims for people is so warped, that it would probably take a lifetime supply of Fair and Lovely to get you to look like those models in the advertisements. It is a cliche line, but true at the same time: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Think about it - would you rather be someone you are not to try and appease to the shallow standards of society, or be happy and content in your own skin? The more you try to impress someone, the more miserable you will be.
3. Don't blame God for your failures. If you're an atheist, this point is invalid, but if you do believe in God, stop blaming Her/him for your failures. You're in this world for a reason. Every action you do has a purpose behind it. You may not realise it now, but God has a plan for you. God listens to everyone. Just remember the mantra - never give up.
4. Listen to your mom. She is ALWAYS right. Your mom has seen life way more than you have, and there is no other person who can give you better advice than she can. Take her advice, and it may just work for you!
5. Believe in a better life. If you think your life is bad, then that's what you will see around you -- a bad life. But if you change your view, think positive thoughts, you will start to notice positive things around you. When I say there is power in positive thinking, trust me, it works. Try with the small things, and then work your way to the bigger. Remember - if you think positively, only positive things will happen..
Friday, January 29, 2010
Another phase...
Am I actually in love or is it just a phase of life?..
Love is a basic emotion, yet i cannot plan to fall in love or create conditions for being in love as i use to believe earlier. It is something over which i have no control. Either i fall in love or i do not.. It is ordained. An interesting way to look at love is to understand this analogy...’When a huge tidal wave comes, all the little brooks and ditches become full to the brim without any effort or consciousness on their own part’....
I beleive there are some parameters on the basis of which one can decide whether love has bestowed my life or not.
The first test is that I do not want exclusive possession of the object of my love. I wish the world to know of my love. I could declare my love from the rooftop. And I wish to do and say whatever makes the person I love happy. M K Ghandi said:’love and exclusive possession can never go together: theoretically where there is perfect love, there must be perfect non-possession’..
The second test of love is that there can be no bargain... It does not recognise reward or punishment... Love itself is a merit, and itself its own reward... Beyond itself love seeks neither cause nor outcome; the outcome of it is one with the practice of it..
I love something or someone for its own sake and not because I want or desire a favour in return. Love is not a mean to some ephemeral or non-ephemeral end, but is an end in itself. Love is not a response to any positive situation. I can go on loving…for when I give my love it comes back millions of times more.
The notion of giving is so consequential to love that ‘if i do not give it, it goes back, it becomes dead , it becomes a dead weight on me. It becomes hatred - it turns into its very opposite. It becomes jealousy, it becomes possessiveness’, said Osho.
The third test of love is the annihilation of ego. It obliterates the distinction between the self and the other by an unconditional surrender to the other; rather it is a total merger. A complete synthesis with the beloved. In true love the lover and the beloved are one.
The sense of my own identity individuality vanishes. The other, therefore, does not place a limit on the lover’s freedom; rather ,communion with the beloved leads to unbound freedom. It frees me from limits imposed on me by my ego.
The fourth test of real love is that it knows no fear. Fear could be of unfulfilled desires. If my love springs from fear of punishment, or from my desires being fulfilled, then there is no love at all. Love and fear are incompatible as in love there is no place for desire.
The fifth test of love is that i love what i consider to be the best and not the one what others consider to be the best. Therefore, the beloved person, object, or ideal is unique. It is the highest from the perspective of the lover; from the others’ perspective it may not be so. For others some other ideal could be higher than this one. But for the lover the beloved is the best.
The sixth test of real love is that the lover does not so much believe in the pedantic and powerless reason which merely argues but is able to establish a direct contact with the beloved.
The lover gives up the fruitless intellectual groping in the dark, and trusts her own direct experiences. SHe does not give reasons or arguments, nor depend upon inferences but depends on direct perception and lived life experiences to love.
Am I in true love or maybe i need to work harder!!!
Love is a basic emotion, yet i cannot plan to fall in love or create conditions for being in love as i use to believe earlier. It is something over which i have no control. Either i fall in love or i do not.. It is ordained. An interesting way to look at love is to understand this analogy...’When a huge tidal wave comes, all the little brooks and ditches become full to the brim without any effort or consciousness on their own part’....
I beleive there are some parameters on the basis of which one can decide whether love has bestowed my life or not.
The first test is that I do not want exclusive possession of the object of my love. I wish the world to know of my love. I could declare my love from the rooftop. And I wish to do and say whatever makes the person I love happy. M K Ghandi said:’love and exclusive possession can never go together: theoretically where there is perfect love, there must be perfect non-possession’..
The second test of love is that there can be no bargain... It does not recognise reward or punishment... Love itself is a merit, and itself its own reward... Beyond itself love seeks neither cause nor outcome; the outcome of it is one with the practice of it..
I love something or someone for its own sake and not because I want or desire a favour in return. Love is not a mean to some ephemeral or non-ephemeral end, but is an end in itself. Love is not a response to any positive situation. I can go on loving…for when I give my love it comes back millions of times more.
The notion of giving is so consequential to love that ‘if i do not give it, it goes back, it becomes dead , it becomes a dead weight on me. It becomes hatred - it turns into its very opposite. It becomes jealousy, it becomes possessiveness’, said Osho.
The third test of love is the annihilation of ego. It obliterates the distinction between the self and the other by an unconditional surrender to the other; rather it is a total merger. A complete synthesis with the beloved. In true love the lover and the beloved are one.
The sense of my own identity individuality vanishes. The other, therefore, does not place a limit on the lover’s freedom; rather ,communion with the beloved leads to unbound freedom. It frees me from limits imposed on me by my ego.
The fourth test of real love is that it knows no fear. Fear could be of unfulfilled desires. If my love springs from fear of punishment, or from my desires being fulfilled, then there is no love at all. Love and fear are incompatible as in love there is no place for desire.
The fifth test of love is that i love what i consider to be the best and not the one what others consider to be the best. Therefore, the beloved person, object, or ideal is unique. It is the highest from the perspective of the lover; from the others’ perspective it may not be so. For others some other ideal could be higher than this one. But for the lover the beloved is the best.
The sixth test of real love is that the lover does not so much believe in the pedantic and powerless reason which merely argues but is able to establish a direct contact with the beloved.
The lover gives up the fruitless intellectual groping in the dark, and trusts her own direct experiences. SHe does not give reasons or arguments, nor depend upon inferences but depends on direct perception and lived life experiences to love.
Am I in true love or maybe i need to work harder!!!
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