Is there something that bugs you to no end as a woman?

A lot of us girls especially, in India are taught from day 1 to be protective of our bodies. We are made to feel guilty & dirty for entertaining thoughts of good-looking men. Sex is something we may never hear from our parents. Virginity always gets the highest bidder. Its almost like, this is the reason of our existence. It causes us problems, brings on us rules that are definitely ridiculous and make our whole existence worthless.

I wonder what is it about virgins that get men all excited? It would be foolish to want an inexperienced girl in bed, wouldn’t it?? Why do people condemn something that is so natural across living beings. Animals do it, birds do it. I have been reading some classified sections in the newspapers where people want “pure” girls. What I want to know is, how are they gonna verify this girl’s “pureness”? Anyway, how pure is their son?

It may sound odd and weird to me because I was not brought up in a conservative household. I had my freedom (rather still have), I wore make up, I go to parties etc. I am pretty sure my parents knew about my encounters with men in life. But the reason I have this freedom is because my mother had to tolerate crap like this when she was younger. Apparently, when my father went to “see” my mother, my grandmother (father’s mom) yanked on her braided hair hard, to check if it was real. I am pretty sure, her being a virgin was of great importance to them.

Can we change this opinion people have on women? Optimistically thinking, I believe we can. Realistically, NO. There are too many people to convince and a whole lot of them are narrow-minded. We also live in a country that is superstitious. So, god forbid, they think otherwise and another tsunami hit them. We are perennially worried about what society thinks of us, what our great-grand mothers would think of us, what our maid thinks of us etc.

So, we do the next best thing. We rebel. We do everything we are told not to do. We do what our hearts desire. And along the way, if we find a man, who sees through this deception we put ourselves through, we get lucky. Else, we fall in love and change back to what we never wanted to be.

I am ranting in this post. I wanted to write something about women empowerment, but all that came up in this post was anger at the way women were treated across our country, in our backyards.

Perpetual Search....

Over the last couple of years I’ve been on this search. I often don’t know what it is I’m looking for. Sometimes it’s figuring what I’m doing, sometimes an escape route and sometimes a sense of liberation.

It’s a feeling like there’s something incomplete in my life. Something constantly tugging at my mind to come looking for it. It’s like there is something hidden deep within the layers of my mind or my existence but I’m unable to dig it out of there.

I try to comfort myself. I think…. it’s just that time when you are trying to find yourself. You try out new things, most often than not they don’t work and you try again until you find it. I don’t know if I have yet. I don’t think so.

It maybe social conditioning as well. In our highly consumer driven societies, we’re conditioned to always want more than we have. Maybe the same thing has morphed into this search for me.

Or maybe its some unfinished business from my past life.

The funny thing is that I sometimes wish that I could just have some sort of vision or something that will let me know what it is that I’m looking for. It’s like a big surprise that I know is coming but I just cant wait for it and want to know what it is now. Is my whole life going to be like this? It’s a scary thought because off late I rarely find myself being happy.

Or who knows, maybe I’m just wired this way.

And I wonder what will happen when I actually find that thing I’m searching for. Then what? Will I still be unhappy?

They say the grass is greener on the other side. To that someone once said in a movie, “I stay on both sides. That way the grass is always green”

I think it all boils down to the eternal search of happiness...long lost happiness..

AAMchi Mumbai or Shiv Sena land – how do we define the city?

Hate is the most predominant word in the city of Mumbai as of now. why? ALL thanks to the shiv sena and MNS. Isn't it suppose to be home to a set of diverse crowd. Have we stopped believing in the idea of unity in diversity? Shiv Sena has held Mumbai as a hostage since last few days..the new age of autocracy..or should i say hooliganism or vandalism.

The best strategy to be in the limelight is by creating chaos in some way or the other and shiv sainiks are experts at it - whether it is about protesting outside SRK's Bunglow or for that matter bashing up North Indians every second day for some odd reason..they are adept at it. The political appraoch of Shiv Sena and MNS is strongly centred around the concept of Bhumiputr (sons of soil). Its ideology is that Maharashtra belongs to the Marathi community and that they be given preference over migrants from other Indian states. No wonder they were born out of a feeling of resentment about the relative marginilization of the native Marathi people in their own state by people whom they perceived as outsiders.

I often wonder whether they understand the Indian constitution in the first place or not?? Looks like Dr. B.R Ambedkar wasted a lot of time designing the constitution of India, when eventually at the end of the day people don't even understand it and end up defragmenting it according to their own understanding. As far as i know the citizens have the right to freedom of speech and expression and no one can stop people from making any kind of atatement until and unless it is some kind of vilification to somebody.. as far as my understanding permits, I don't think shahrukh said anything wrong or disrespectful. He is simply being targeted for being a Muslim which is a shameful act in today's sovereign and secular nation.

The worst is the fact that today SRK simply apologises for the entire fiasco. Was it a planned publicity stunt, both for SRK as well as the Shiv Sena? A win-win situation for both at the behest of the public... Or is it mere taking public sentiments for granted...